Happy New Year!
The concept of "New Year's Resolutions" is a valiant one. Though in practice, they're usually a bit of a flop.
If you've ever followed through on a single resolution (for longer than four weeks), we want to hear from you. Because you're clearly the next step in human evolution.
Still, we always strive to begin each year with a fresh mindset and bring it all back to basics… in our work, in ourselves, and in our relationships. Here are eight "resolutions" we at Vow Muse made—or wish we had made—when planning our own weddings that you can peruse for inspiration if this is your wedding year.
1) Remember the Point
American weddings are turning into a game of Keeping Up with the Joneses. According to a survey of nearly 13,000 couples by The Knot.com, the average wedding in 2017 cost $33,391. That varies depending on region, of course (and they have a cool map showing regional averages ranging from $18k in Utah to nearly $77k in Manhattan!). But the point remains that lavish, Pinterest-worthy affairs are becoming the norm. When you're that invested in centerpieces, it's easy to forget the real reason for all these details: a lasting love and an eternal promise.
2) Recommit to Your Relationship
In that vein, wedding planning isn't an excuse to put your relationship on hold. Any healthy bond needs to be cultivated. So even if flowers and dresses and seating charts make your head spin most days, take a night or two to set it all aside. Pour an extra glass of wine and cuddle. Talk about your values and goals. Watch a movie. Gossip. Go to dinner. Play video games. Clean the house. Just whatever you do, do it together.
3) Breathe in and Let It Go
It's OK. Really. That argument your mother just started? Who cares? The printing delay with your invitations? No one will even realize they're late. The florist who won't respond to your emails? They're busy. They might be your only florist, but you're not their only bridezilla. Let it go. Because in the end, it'll all come together, and you'll get married. Go take a bubble bath.
Alright, so breathing in and letting it go isn't for everyone. But your blood pressure will thank you if you don't keep all that stress bottled up. We've met so many brides who claim that planning their wedding was a breeze. They say the key is to not stress about the things outside of your control (let it go!), vent and ask for advice when you feel overwhelmed, and trust in others to help. Which brings us to…
5) Share the Burden
You are not in it alone. You have a fiancé, family members, and likely a wedding party who signed on for this exact situation. Delegate. Host a DIY party, ask your MOH to interview bakeries, have your fiancé pick the music. Find a way to prioritize the things that absolutely need your attention and hand off everything else to that loving circle of family and friends who are ready to help check a thing or two off your to-do list.
6) Be Kind
"It takes a village," they say. OK, maybe that applies to raising children. But your wedding kinda IS your baby at the moment, right? Show your gratitude for all the people helping you along the way… heartfelt letters to your bridesmaids and groomsmen, nostalgic gifts for your family, glowing reviews for your vendors. All these gestures are small ways to be kind to those who have gone out of their way to make your day so special.
7) Enjoy Your Engagement
All this talk about anxiety and stress management… wedding planning doesn't have to be hard! Have fun with it. Take your maid of honor cake tasting. Meet up with your besties for a wedding expo. Even if you aren't looking for anything, it's a fun way to bond and claim some free swag. Tour venues that you'd never be able to afford just for the heck of it. Flash your engagement ring around at restaurants—some places will give you free food as congratulations!
8) Give Back
When the festivities are over, consider donating your extra stuff. My husband and I went home with two tiers of untouched cake. You better believe we ate a lot of it, and of course froze some for our anniversary. But the rest we gave to our doorman, our coworkers, and handed out to homeless in the area. If you pack up non-perishable center pieces, plates, chalkboards, even pens or napkins that aren't personalized… consider donating them to those in need. Listing for free on Facebook Marketplace is a great option. And you can also sell for a low price on sites like BravoBride, Ruffled, and Wedding Recycle.
Writer Fawn believes in the power of a well-crafted story, the promise of an adventurous future, and the perfection of a Nutella-covered strawberry.